Skylines & Shotgun Trails

Skylines & Shotgun Trails

Dear Stupid Fucking Weather,

This just won't do anymore. 

 31 years on this planet and year after year all I look forward to is a summer where I can feel the warmth on my skin and perhaps enjoy my garden without the fear of being washed away in the fucking tsunami of pissing rain that is seemingly relentless.

Sure the water companies have bitched about droughts and issued hosepipe bans, but sweet fucking Lord, soon we will be issued with a shit load of towels and sandbags if this continues.

It's June, I really shouldn't have to be planning my trip to work to include a frantic phone call and subsequent rescue from the fucking coastguard.

Whilst we're at it, Winter, why can't we just have a decent snow period between December and say February where our little island becomes a brief winter wonderland? Hmmm? This slushy, unsledgeable crap you toss at us is no good for anything other than closing down public transport systems, I mean look at the Rusky, those bastards can have a 7ft snow fall and they don't have any issues getting to a Starbucks. 

This is the last year, the last damn year that I will wear my frogman outfit in June, if by May of 2013 I see no inspiring weather, well I'll be getting the fuck out of here, I'm thinking Guam or Mongolia, somewhere where I get either the best or the worst of the weather but at least I will be able to pack my clothes accordingly.

Team Shotgun.